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08

Selecting a Mentor

Relationship

Be careful to note that a mentor-mentee relationship is a two-way street. It’s
important to remember that the mentee-mentor relationship is a reciprocal one. It’s not
just where the mentor tells you how to study, takes you out to lunch, introduces you to
people, or even gives you a job. It’s a relationship. It may not be 50-50 since you’re
just starting out. But it should closely approximate 50-50 with just having a
conversation. In speaking about this subject with various attorneys and judges there
are two things that they all have complained about especially regarding 1Ls. The first
was that the student blows them off whenever they reach out to them- saying that they
(the student) were too busy to talk and had to study. How ridiculous! The mentor is an
attorney, judge, or other legal professional- they are busier than the student; the legal
professional just knows by then how to handle their busy schedule a little better than a
student. The second was that reaching out to a student was a chore because the only
discussion the student had was a barrage of questions about how to do well, which
courses they should take next year, what should they focus on studying, etc. The
student wouldn’t talk to them much about their personal life- only as it relates to the
legal field. Very important in the mentor-mentee relationship, when networking, and
when interviewing, is does one appear to the legal professional as a potential colleague
or a perpetual student? Can they see you as an equal? One wants to mentor the
potential colleague. One wants to network with the potential colleague. One wants to
give the job to the potential colleague but in all of those situations, the legal professional
wants to run away from someone who they can only see as unequal- as a perpetual
student.

When selecting a mentor, keep in mind that the person does not have to be
100% like you. If you should have a problem or are in need of advice, a fresh
perspective may be best. Someone else may think totally differently than you and the
combination may be the best way to solve that problem.

And it should happen naturally. Asking some stranger “will you be my mentor”
shortly after meeting them is ridiculous and its endearing desperation is reminiscent of
the famous line from the movie based on Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist- “please sir, can
I have some more”. Anything worth having takes time and it will take time for you to
develop a good relationship with a mentor.

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